Short Clip
Okay it goes like this... (Btw the clip's in POV until mentioned.)
It begins in the Outdoors on a sunny day,
the character begins looking at the ground and sees his own shadow.
He's like under the sun feeling the heat. Then he looks at the sun.
When he looks back down he sees a kid!
He calls out to the child in a panic manner, as if he's his long lost son.
But the kid playfully runs away. Our char gives chase and the kid turns into a corner.
Char turns into corner as well and sees a door. He continues on quickly and opens the door.
Behind the door theres 1 more door! (like the matrix shot with the keymaker)
behind it is and another, and behind this door there is a slightly longer corridor with a 90 degree turn.
He sees a slight glimpse of the kid running and turning at the end of the corridor and he gives chase.
Optional, Choose A or B
A
[After the turn, there's a door at the end of the corridor where the kid runs into.]
B
[At the turn it becomes a vast warehouse with robots and mech stuffs downstairs and they're on a platform
(a corridor-liked platform , like L4D the warehouse).
Char is awe strucked for a moment looking at the vast mechs and shit. But quickly takes focus back
onto the child who is running on the platform too. He gives chase and we can hear the sound of footsteps on metal.
The child goes thru the door and char follows too.]
But suddenly! after the door there is a vast artic plain, with the wind and snowing blowing at his face.
char looks around and sees the child standing about 10m away.
He dashes forward and hugs the kid. He looks at the kid and suddenly the kid explodes into some kind of white flash
,like a blinding light (burning safari kind) and the screens goes all white.
The cam is now a long shot.
and the white slowly fades off and we see our char with his hands blocking the flash from his eyes.
The white fades away and reveals the guy in the asylum room with his uniform.
It then continues to zoom out and shows the CCTV of him in the room in tat pose and stands up slowly to
only run around again as if he's seen the kid again.
Optional Additional Ending
[Further zooming out to reveal more TV screens of many more other rooms with other crazy ppl inside. and also
revealing the words "Asylum Security Room" or something.]
Thats All!
Thats the end of it. it should not be too long as the running and all should b quite fast. Btw we can have different crazy stuff
after each door, to make things crazier. See if you guys like any part of it. or maybe it can spark something new :)
and thx for reading!
4 Reply to "New story idea!"
Minifong on June 26, 2009 at 4:20 PM
I really this new story best by far.
I feel that it works in every sense and the use of POV is more justified in this story. (especially the corner turns and the run through doors)
After I read finished Option B, I felt that it was so Gobelins, which is good :)
I'm for Option B as long as time allows it.
To find out if we need the optional ending, we will have to do an animatic to see if it can be read as an asylum without it.
If it cannot work, then we will have to add that part in. And maybe when we feel it's more important to have the Additional Ending than Option B, we can pick option A to compromise.
That's all i have for now.. :)
ACM on June 26, 2009 at 11:13 PM
Yo yo! I think its best if you end it in a way that hint that its in asylum but does not paste it in front of your face. E.g: put a file with writing asylum. And you can see the light (from the tv as it changes to different cctv) on and off, sort of hinting the audience to read the word asylum. or...
As in "the white fades away and reveals the guy in the asylum room with his uniform, you could do a quite high shot and there is a fan on top of the guy, as it zooming out of the scene, you show him:
1.hands closed his eyes (Fan Crossdissolve)
2.his hands still on his eyes, start shouting/moaning etc (Fan crossdissolve)
3.nurse+ doctor running in, screaming get worst (Fan crossdissolve)
4.Then bam... darkness...silence...or child laughter?
well its just an idea. ;D
Oh and yong yi! when you coming to studio miu with us?!
ACM on June 26, 2009 at 11:35 PM
Oh I read your story again, I thought that the opening was kind of slow. After watching the ref videos zichao provided on the previous post, I thought that you might wanna squeeze in that few sentences. My idea when I read that part was, the character looking below, into the camera, hands on his hips (as if the audience is the shadow), bored. Still on the same cut scene, he looks up onto the sun, just directly behind him and as he was abt to look back into the camera, you can see shadow coming down, the kid actually jumped from somewhere in the sky or even from the sun? and landed beside him? and then the chasings started. xD just my two cents!
yongs on June 28, 2009 at 4:44 PM
Hey Ana, Thx for your ideas! yea we're open to all ideas especially at this stage. We'll add them into our list of possibilities.
btw for the starting i was thinking more like the character moving slowly in a stressed way, like he's suffering from the heat and has been looking for something but just can't seem to find it.
and Thx again! I'll join u guys in miu real soon. haha, we'll go reg this week!
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